Thursday, November 22, 2007

How To Defrost Kitchenaid Freezer

Truncated

Satz mit X. Ich bin einfach zu gutgläubig. Nun war die Telekom tatsächlich da, nun macht das alles keinen Mucks. Wie es aussieht haben die Gartenarbeiter wahrscheinlich unsere Telekomleitung mit dem Bagger geschrottet. Herzlichen Glückwunsch. Sie sind bis auf Weiteres von der Außenwelt abgeschnitten. Im wahrsten Sinne.

Kleine Anekdote vom großartigen Telekom-"Service":

"Guten Tag, wir haben heute einen Termin mit Ihrem Technicians in the period 12:00 to 18:30 clock. Can you now take a closer time-limit "

Telekom: (in a very unfriendly tone of voice)" No, you can move the date is not more narrow "

" I would not postpone the date, just in time "

.. Telekom: "Your date is 12 to 6:30 p.m. clock."

"Yes, right, that is 6.5 hours, my question is whether you can narrow that something ought to be planning your tour."

Telekom (falling into my word:) "NO! You can now cancel any more. "

" Listen to me please at times, I want to date NO CANCELLATIONS. I think the way pretty unfriendly "

Telekom:"... Goodbye "(hangs up)


This occurs to me nothing more

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Request For Family Status

intolerable

The guy sitting behind me at the table in an Italian restaurant and talking his . subordinates fully accommodate in ten minutes more than audible volume following terms is almost a talent: I, I, I, managers, artists, exhibition, order, Spiegel TV, my cell phone number, no-clue-where- to-die-had Well, Huskie sled, sweet voice, one of my affairs, coal, order, makers is clear, Italian? Oh, a little bit, Italians drink ja nie doppelten Espresso, "irgendwas auf italienisch gesabbelt", Auftrag, Kohle, Ciao!

Unerträglich. Ich könnte kotzen, wenn ich solche Selbstdarsteller erlebe. Und bin zeitgleich gruselig amüsiert. Da muss ich mich wohl irgendwann mal entscheiden.


Unerträglich II: Umziehen. Ich möchte die nächsten 27 Jahre keine einzige Umzugskiste mehr packen und nie wieder mit mehr als fünf Kilo in der Hand eine Treppe hinuter- oder hinaufgehen müssen. Ich bin durch. Aber bald ist es geschafft.

Unerträglich III: Offline sein. Vom World-Wide-Web bin ich ab jetzt bis mindestens 3. November abgeschnitten. Macht's gut.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Freckles On Inside Of Cheek

Go fast, Udo!

Mit Nebenhöhlenentzündung short fuse and I push myself forward in the evening rush. The chaos rolls as always on Dammtor. At the university over the knot and finally delivers the road appears to the dim evening sky. Just go straight, left turn, left turn, left turn! GREEN ARROW! Man to drive! In front of me sneaking a fat black slide to the traffic light, you should pass quickly.
Slowly, he moves more slowly than he'd much rather have a pretty yellow green arrow instead of a welcome. Moreover, the
are usually the idiots who discover the Ampelumsprung suddenly that her accelerator allows more than 39 km / h.

I do not feel anymore, I want to go home. I drive fast on traffic lights and cars, hit unnerved the horn. Bepöbelung included. changed the left lane, I would like to just watch the Nixblicker natural squint to the right and see an advanced mouth, sunglasses, a black hat. A guy who looks definitely as if it lasts for up to three count to ten. Oh, that's Udo. Udo Lindenberg Noel by the Hamburg city traffic. At the construction site before I let him, I suspect: artists have their initials as a license plate. UL. All right. Or not? Maybe a double? Oh well. Udo, you Schleicher. Have a smart cart. Can that be fucking driving.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Dishwasher Rattling Sound

porn reluctant

get the red light district in a dark tunnel. The culprit is my confirmation bubble. After several beers at three clock at night I can not make it more home. In Lehmitz will not need to go to the bathroom when a loved his clean pants leg ends. Arcade - this seems the solution. "Where you going?" "Uh, I could use a short time your toilet?" "No." "No?" "Only if you are a customer here." Go on.
F. says, "You go in there." And pointing to a neon blue lit establishment, which announced in large white letters "SEX". "Um, maybe I create it anyway until you get home ... "it wafts through my brain gerstensaftumspültes, since even the response from the counter," Actually, yes non, ne, but since you asked sooo nice ... "And then I follow the dependent steps toward the cellar say, still funny: "If I'm not back in ten minutes, come looking for me, will you?", and climb down into the darkness.

count down I arrived with toilets to the right or left. No way. WC indicates the direction a sign down the tunnel. All black. Louder passages. And noise. Groans. Silly voices, meaningless dialogues, monologues, lip-smacking, sigh, murmur, whisper. And groans. I fluke along the corridor, I felt on 200 screens, where porn films are. Various openings in which put various things that hysterically looking faces, and then a toilet sign. And a single thought: "Oh shit."
arrived at the toilets of the soothing sight - just a normal toilet bowl, no holes in the walls, no tools or the like. Simply go pee once.

Very relieved I would like to quickly return to the night-light Reeperbahn of above ground and walk straight ahead.
Am I bent is it? Thus, the saw just now is not enough. Another film, but also else I decide to turn. And right again - and I'm in a small Room, in front of me a leather swing. Wrong. Links rum. In an even smaller room I stand, which is filled by a giant screen - in front of me waving a 1.20 meter large erect penis. Also wrong.
the walk back is sitting behind a kind of band a guy in the back in the corner and stare at me blank. That one really wanted to go to the toilet, then you have to explain the first can, I think. And that I call the "initial" search - who knows what the mean?
I turn in a circle, and increases to panic - I'm finally seeing the saving, green and white sign: an emergency exit. Can not be wrong. After twenty seconds I was once again under Night sky, the blue lights appear on the sidewalk in front of me emblazoned the words "SEX" and "SEX". Thank you enough for today.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Who Song Lets Jam Radioactive Song

song to Saturday

So, your rabbit, I hereby dismiss you in a 34-degree weekend with a hit song. And it is here . Could be integrated not exist.

The singer like me way better than that of Incubus. Someday I will my weakness for beards and long hair go even depth psychology to the bottom. Maybe I've seen too much as a child, "The man in the mountains?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

3d Apartment Extreme Programa

music for three brain cells

Who is this fucking song" Under my Umbrella-ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh " just on his nerves as me?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Excessive Cervical Mucus During Ovulation

The thick children Scheeßel

I'm too old for this shit. I'm too sober for this shit. Mud flies as far field the liquor bottle, herds of stinkbesoffenen people with bad jokes on the body such as hair wigs, urine bags or T-shirts with sayings. A sign on a stand: "man with a ponytail looking for. Hairstyle care. "Two-thirds of girls and boys seem to be almost an adult and have already brought to beer belly or wine tub." My God, are the bold and full, how can one here running around barefoot? "" We have ten years have done so. drunk and at some point die Schuhe ausgezogen.“ „Ach ja. Stimmt. Aber der Bierbauch, der kam erst später.“

Incubus spielen, dass man am liebsten herausbrüllen möchte, wie geil diese Band doch ist! Ich stelle fest, dass mir Sänger Brandon Boyd fast zu schön ist. Um uns herum - 60 000 oder sind es doch 80 000 Menschen? Auf einer Fläche, die nur geringfügig vergrößert wurde, die früher mit 14 000 Menschen angenehm gefüllt war. Wir stehen 150 Meter entfernt von der Bühne, nach vorne ist kein Durchkommen, Wellenbrecher schützen vor Massenquetsche und etwas einfältig dreinguckende Securitymänner lassen nur vereinzelt durch eine Gasse Richtung Bühne. Weil alle ganz nah ran wollen, the people crushed against this barrier almost. But important, important - only a few are allowed to. As infantry, one has the impression that march through the VIP wristbands, occupy series 1-29 and make the rest of regret from the thirtieth series of court. Without broken bones and skin diseases no chance to feel a real concert experience.
video screens we have for it. So you can be sure that the points are on the stage no cover band.

I note that I am not Brandon Boyd but is too beautiful. Then fall from the big screen. We fight through the ranks to get to the third wall in the back. There we stand shivering in the mud - and watch the video. It
frustet me deeply when I'm not one of my favorite bands may be in the amount not to jump, sing, and above all see what. We go. Marilyn Manson must get along without us. killed

Thursday, June 21, 2007

How Much Are X Rays To See If My Dogs Pregnant

capital

press with a piece of metal on the wall with a loud bang, as fast as possible to make cold. They tried to kill the coffee. With stirring, which has nothing to do here anyway.
tie after four hours sleep, neurons in my chains if I get rudely awakened. That "we could possibly hear in the morning some of the kitchen" is not quite right - "You will definitely shot out of bed" would have been the truth.

Once in Berlin, we note with joy that the accommodation in Kreuzberg is elected at the first sight less bizarre than the last. At the reception, then: "You must go through the kitchen if you want in your room" - immediately arises in the mind's eye is as follows: kitchen door through the kitchen, 2 Kitchen door, out of the kitchen, stand in the aisle, room door.
The reality has only two instead of three doors: door to kitchen, through the kitchen, bedroom door. To get to the bathroom: door to the kitchen to take a step to the left on toilet door. Therefore means that the international guests at this backpacker accommodation twice have the benefit of us to consider in early morning beauty.

But back to Friday. The train ride with K., who impressed me later with the info that she was a drummer in a punk rock band once, and girlfriend Sandra injected only way Berlin welcomes us with sunshine, nice as we are of A., pick up the really only K. was driven to the hotel.
evening and Vietnamese private party in the common swift. Between Guns'N'Roses and Nelly are two clock in the world, out of the taxi we go barefoot and walk to the hotel. Slowly, the air sacs break up again, the shower washes away the smoke and a half per thousand from the bed feels great to sleep knocks, enters and makes fast-wide.
awakened by the sweet sound of said coffee killer, I would put out her head and her "Please twice with milk" to call, but my feet feel in themselves, as were four bottles of beer so constricted.

We verdösen the morning and go have breakfast, I do not know what is the name of the shop, but there are great breakfast there. Kreuzberg, around the corner from Görlitz Station. Until half-past one we burn the bellies full and walk - in sunshine again - towards Hackescher Markt. And what tun Frauen, wenn sie frei und eine gedeckte Kreditkarte haben? Sie kaufen Schuhe. Klischee erfüllt.
Die Tussis mit Schuhen fahren ans Spreeufer Nähe Ostbahnhof und essen in der Strandbar 25 in der Abendsonne.

Zackozack zurück in die Küchenstube, umgezogen und abfahrbereit werden wir zur Cateringparty abgeholt, die zwei neue Cateringwagen einweihen soll. In Charlottenburg auf einem kargen Hallengelände angekommen, stöckeln die ersten Hasen an uns vorbei, Brüste unters Kinn geschnallt und Gesicht so bis zur Unkenntlichkeit maskiert, dass Marilyn Manson ihnen den Schminkkoffer klauen würde. Aber schicke Kleider haben sie an - und warum sollte man Knöpfe an einem lauen Sommerabend auch zumachen? In Schwung kommt the party does not. The half-silk half the guests dance at some point pounding beats, 80 years jail for fifty square meters, the other half eats through the catering units and we set off at half past one.

The Kiki Blofeld is a, a - love Berlin, I have no words. There really is not sooo much, what I envy you, but below deck on a boat dock with wind in the face "We are Soul" music to dance, with subdued lighting and water splashing - that's very, very big. If I were in Berlin, I would be there every damn day.

Today, the beer will not dance, but always goes. At three in the clock, we are back in bed asleep, with the gentle hope that the brutal coffee wife once had ne hot night.

Our hope may have been answered, we'll never know. At half past eight storms another command the kitchen - cabinets pop, make scrambled eggs, bread, smear, drink juice - who can it the loudest? Aaaaah. I stuffing handkerchiefs in their ears and going until about quarter to ten awake again, 15 minutes is plenty to pack, shower and check out.

After a leisurely breakfast in a flash of a large group meeting with the Spreepiratin , which is very nice but is unfortunately too short, since we need to train.


missed the first part? Guck mal hier.
Drehtermin „Hauptstadtnächte 3. Teil“ (AT): voraussichtlich 2008

Küchenzimmer, aber mit Balkon!




Prost, Berlin!




Bar 25








Klokombüse. Links Jungs, rechts Mädchen




An der Spree I




An der Spree II




"Vibrant." Sounds in this case threatening.




The storm of the month. Night at four barefoot ausm taxi




very great store name





Friday, June 8, 2007

Florida Dirver's License Template

nights reloaded batter in the head

Maybe it's because I'm silly, after all, an empty martini glass in front of me. Maybe it is because that such advertising is silly easy. The worst thing I find not the title, but all the crap that is in small print: "effort is not enough" and "The stands as a one. And looks after the initial cut of more accurate and delicious. "Accurate. Hello? The one who screwed up that deserves some brain activation blows. What has actually Hansano advertising agency as a customer? Or is the company's internally?




So I can not leave for tomorrow. Here are three videos from one of the most best bands of all time:







Monday, February 12, 2007

How To Get Last Drop Of Urine Out

Hui stick

My first stick. Thanks to Stjama , it has thrown me.

1) Grab the book, which is the closest you suggest on page 18 and quote line 4

"Einhängeheftstreifen 355 370 Sichttafelschwenkarm school pencil 632 159.161-163 cable"
's a catalog of a large office supply store

2) stretch your left arm as far as possible. What you hold in your hand?

the prospectus of the new Alfa Spider ... Delicious


3) What have you seen as the last in the television?

Anthony Bourdain - A QUESTION OF TASTE IN NEW ZEALAND
my favorite series simply brilliant, the type

4) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear right now?

The big plays in his room

5) When you have done the last step outside?

times this morning to the bakery quickly

6) What you just did, before you've started this questionnaire?

In Stjama read

7) What did you just at?

sweatpants

8) Did you dream last night?

Can I very rarely remember my dreams

9) When did you laugh the last time?

this morning as the great standing in front of me and as long as I looked at was a wake-up was

10) What's on the walls of the room in the currently login now?

calendar and pictures of the children

11) Have you recently seen anything strange?

ähmm actually I can not remember me

12) What do you think of this quiz? Very nice

ask

13) What was the last movie you saw?

Paycheck

14) What would you buy if you were suddenly multimillionaire? Ne

small island in the Caribbean nothing else

15) Tell me something about you that I did not know.

I am very conservative

16th) If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

Austria would be a Caribbean island

17th) You like to Dance?

Yes

18) George Bush!

Let's talk about it not ... I come before seen;)

19) Imagine your first child was a girl. What would you call it?

Melanie

20th) and a boy?

heist oliver

21) Would you consider it to emigrate?

If we do not soon to the Caribbean island YES! Oh God I need vacation

22) What would you tell God when you reach the Pearly Gates?

I'll not go to heaven but with the devil I'd drink a go:)

23) Three people are the answer here.
Heiko creating something
then the Phonebitch
and at last even the bartender which it is not likely before making

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Initiation Ideas For Members

Even my extremely ...


weekend was my wife on a business trip and I had the party alone throw, no problem for me I've made often enough by now but what happened this time I have even taken off his shoes.

On Saturday evening around 8:30 rang a couple at the door, I opened and read in. the two. He was about the middle of 40 and 30 and the beginning of it what most men think with great nervous woman, long blonde hair and huge tits (I stand anymore for the exact opposite but no matter). The two sat down a little off from the remaining guests and talked. When after 20 minutes still no one had put to them, I walked over and sat down to something to keep fanning Small Talk, we talked about this and that (much blabla just as it is with most guests). Then he got to the point and told me what she would remain as is. He said: "My Frau ist richtig Spermageil am liebsten saugt sie 20 Schwänze aus“ Ich dachte erst er macht nur Witze aber als seine Frau mir die Hand aufs Bein legte und mir zuflüsterte das sie meine Ladung gern als erstes hätte damit sie sie richtig pur schmecken könnte wurde mir klar das er das ernst meinte.

Ich lehnte natürlich ab, denn erstens würde ich nie ohne meine Frau auf die Matte gehen und zweitens find ich schon die Vorstellung ziemlich (na wie sag ich das jetzt ohne jemandem ans Bein zu pissen) eklig .

Das Paar ging dann nach unten und ein Singleherr nach dem anderen folgte ihnen jetzt war ich Neugierig geworden denn ich konnte nicht glauben das es so etwas wirklich gibt, und es gibt es doch die Kerle standen in a row and made her one by one finished, I could not believe I did such women always going to ne perverse male fantasy but I also sometimes proved wrong. I would come with so nervous woman probably did not clear because I'm usually a private Kuschelsextyp and it is not intended:), can Well I'm so happy not matter wear out but was fiercely self already ...

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Good Household Masterbation Lubes

The love relationship


A few weeks ago I was a little late to the club so that the first guests were admitted even by my wife. So I rushed a bit worn out come the front door and came directly together with a guest apologized briefly and disappeared right in the office. When I moved I thought about who I had bumped just because I knew him but I could not state it place in my jaded. So I looked at the list of guests to whether I found a name known, and as a well-known name was the fact of my older cousins \u200b\u200b(you spell that right??). I thought for a moment how to deal with the situation because, although modest, my parents and close friends also know what I'm working but the great circle of family still thinks I was a retail clerk, I decided to simply bull by the horns take up and went upstairs in the occupied zone. He sat on a couch and I had not noticed, and apparently not noticed before as I was, as usual in winter packed quite thick. I went to bed that he faced and sat down with the words: "Hello Marcus how's your wife and children" (the woman was naturally present) He looked at me startled and muttered was, "Uh, hi, what are you doing here? "" Well Marcus, I'm the boss here, and what are you doing here without your wife? (I have to tell me that is now rather lie on the bag with all their men and women cheat, as you can go home and your women look into the eyes?) Well he told me then notice that his wife knows where he is from Swinger nothing holds and therefore never it comes along but like to go alone can ... (I doubt today about the story but I will not dig deeper because it is really not my problem).

the rest of the evening was spent on the couch and tried obsessively to talk with me to bed sports he has not come to him will probably all have been rather embarrassing to be because I had him when he went to promise that I shall no one was about it.

I would not do that well actually we are sitting in the same boat even if I do not cheat my wife ...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

How Would I Get A Wall That Separates Rooms

leave and distance


Ja ich weiß ich hab den Blog und meine paar treuen Leser ganz schön hängen gelassen, aber ich hatte meine gründe.

Nach dem ich von Weihnachten bis zum ersten Januar ununterbrochen im Club war wurde mir alles etwas zu viel und ich musste erst mal ne Woche Urlaub machen. Diese hätte ich auch genießen können wenn mir nicht jeden Tag ein anderer Gast irgendwo in der Stadt über den Weg gelaufen wäre. Diese verhielten sich nicht so wie ich das erwarte und liefen mit einem freundlichem Kopfnicken vorbei sondern kamen Freude strahlend auf mich zu und drückten mir ein ewiges Gespräch auf, ich bleib da logischerweise Freundlich auch wenn ich es hasse aber es sind halt Kunden. Als das am dritten Tag meines Urlaubs zum 5. mal passierte bekam ich einen rappel und beschloss Hals über Kopf dass es das beste ist wenn ich umziehe. Jetzt wohne ich ca. 120 km vom Club entfernt und finde es super kein Mensch kennt mich und ich habe endlich mal wieder meine ruhe…

Den Blog werde ich in den nächsten Tagen mal auf den neusten Stand bringen und dann geht’s hier wie gewohnt weiter.